The Call
by jjcrimminds
Summary: Her finger hovered over that contact, one that hadn't been used in almost ten years. But she still kept it after all this time, somehow knowing that it would someday be of use. With a deep breath, she hit call.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is the fic I've been working on for a while now. I originally intended for it to be a one-shot, but it turned out to be very long so I'm turning it into a multi-chapter fic. It will only be a few chapters though.**

 **Until I finish this, I'm putting Eternally Lost on hold for the moment, unless I get more time to write. Nothing is concrete as of yet.**

 **I hope everyone likes this. I'm not a huge fan of Elle myself, but she was part of the team and I can't just ignore that fact. So I wanted to touch upon her and what happened all those years ago.**

 **As always, please leave me a review if you can and let me know if you like this!**

Elle stared down at the phone she held in her hands. All it would take was one call, one call for her to know.

With one call, she would find out how her old team was, how they were doing. And she would find out…god, she didn't even want to think about it…she would find out if they were all still alive.

She knew very well how dangerous that job was, maybe more than some of the team. She wanted, no she _needed_ to see if they were all okay.

Her finger hovered over that contact, one that hadn't been used in almost ten years. But she still kept it after all this time, somehow knowing that it would someday be of use.

With a deep breath, she hit call.

OOOOOOO

Hotch set his phone down on his desk, his mouth almost hanging open. When he answered his phone, he never imagined that it would be _her._

But no, she had called, asking about the team and how they were doing. And when she asked if they could all get together, he couldn't possibly say no to the hopeful tone of her voice.

After she had left the team, he knew that they wouldn't hear from her again. At the time, she wasn't in the right mind, and it was beginning to affect her work. Hotch knew that, but he wasn't sure if the rest of the team did.

They'd be shocked to hear that Elle was coming to the BAU in an hour.

OOOOOOOO

Everyone was in the bullpen, with the exception of Garcia who was in her office, and Rossi who was on a rare vacation. JJ, Kate, and Reid were busy doing paperwork, while Morgan had vacated his office to come and bug the rest of them. As of right now, he was throwing pieces of the popcorn that he was eating at the back of Reid's head. He didn't react, so he figured that the kid didn't notice.

He was so focused on aiming the kernel when all of a sudden, the bag was swiped from his hand. He spun to see JJ holding it, dangling the bag from her fingertips. He hadn't even heard her move.

"Now Morgan, why waste such a delicious treat?" She grinned at him, tossing a piece in the air and catching it expertly in her mouth.

Morgan's mouth gaped for several seconds, before finally collapsing in a fit of booming laughter. JJ just smiled and shook her head, returning to her paperwork with the bag of popcorn.

When Morgan saw that she still had the bag, he immediately stopped laughing and walked up to her desk. At his approach, JJ popped another piece in her mouth, smirking up at him.

"Hey! Give it back!" Morgan whined childishly. He reached for the bag.

JJ jerked it out of his reach and teasingly ate another piece. "Nope. It's mine now. You should know that improper conduct of any junk food is punishable by confiscation." JJ looked up at him, batting her eyelashes and looking innocent.

Kate stifled a laugh at JJ's comment. She couldn't hold it in anymore when Morgan stomped away, probably in search of another bag of popcorn.

JJ grinned at Kate. "Want some?' She motioned to the bag. "Hell yes." Kate dutifully replied and took a hefty handful. JJ then offered some to Reid. "What about you, Spence?"

Reid looked over at the bag and shook his head. "Did you know that the manufacturers of microwave popcorn coat the bags with a chemical that, according to the FDA, breaks down during the cooking process and forms a chemical called perfluoroctane? Not to mention the numerous accounts of chipped and cracked teeth due to unpopped kernels, as well as gum irritation and – "

"Spence!" JJ interrupted his information spew. Reid looked at her and flushed. "Sorry, got a little carried away."

JJ looked down at the bag. "So I take it that's a no, then." She shrugged. "More for us." Kate grinned and grabbed another handful before settling in to finish her paperwork.

Before she could even pick up her pen, Hotch appeared on the walkway above and called down to them. "Something came up. Get Morgan and Garcia in the bullpen in five minutes." With that, he disappeared back into his office.

JJ, Reid, and Kate all looked at each other. "Wonder what that's about." Kate said. JJ's forehead creased. "Yeah, me too. Definitely doesn't sound like a case."

They dutifully called Morgan and Garcia, and they appeared in the bullpen a minute later. "What's going on?" Morgan asked them.

Before anyone could respond, Hotch came out of his office again, and made his way down the stairs and into the bullpen.

He took a deep breath before beginning. "What I'm about to say will be a shock to you. But I want you to hear me out before coming to any conclusions. Got it?"

They nodded, and Hotch continued. "About ten minutes ago, I received a call. I didn't recognize the number, but when I answered it –"He paused for a moment. "It was Elle."

Kate heard JJ's sharp intake of breath next to her. She looked over at the team and saw that their faces held a mixture of emotions, impossible to read. She was confused though; who was Elle?

"She said that she wanted to reconnect, to get to know us again. So she asked if she could come here. I told her yes."

JJ's body was stiff beside Kate. "When?" She ground out, her voice gravelly. Hotch glanced at the clock. "45 minutes."

Everyone remained silent. Hotch studied each person closely. Morgan's nostrils flared as he attempted to reign in his anger. Hotch sighed. That was to be expected. Reid had a hurt look on his face; he had never really gotten over Elle's silent departure. Kate looked utterly perplexed and Hotch mentally slapped himself. Of course she would be confused. She had no idea who Elle was or why the team was reacting this way.

Lastly, he glanced at JJ. If you had asked him beforehand, he would've told you that she would be the most understanding, reserved person here.

Man, was he wrong.

Her body language told him that she was almost as angry as Morgan, if not more. Her body was rigid and tense, and it looked like she had stopped breathing. However, her face didn't hold one trace of emotion. She was completely passive.

That's what she did best.

You aren't a communications liaison for almost seven years without learning how to put a mask on. The team jokingly called it her "press mask".

Well, she was definitely wearing it today.

Tearing his thoughts away from JJ, he looked back at the rest of the team. "The workday is over for everyone. Go home, stay here, do whatever you want. Just be in the conference room at 3:45 p.m. sharp. Don't be late." And with that, he headed back to the office.

They watched him go, each with their own thoughts. Reid headed to the coffee machine to replenish his need for caffeine and to think about who he would be seeing in less than an hour. Morgan left the bullpen, but didn't take any of his things, so Kate assumed that he was headed to the gym to work out some of his anger.

Only Garcia and JJ were left now. JJ sat down heavily in her chain, putting her head in her hands. She radiated tension, and even Garcia could feel it.

She approached JJ's unnaturally still form and looked up at Kate briefly. Kate still had no idea what was going on, but she didn't want to intrude, so she returned to her desk, letting JJ and Garcia have their privacy.

Seeing that Kate took her hint, Garcia knelt down next to JJ and placed a comforting hand on her leg. "JJ?" She said cautiously.

JJ sat up and met Garcia's eyes, anger burning in them. Garcia was taken aback, almost scared by the fiery look in her eyes.

Garcia took a deep breath. "JJ, I know you're mad at her, and understandably so, but I think we should give her another chance."

JJ looked away, her jaw set. "I want to, Garcia. But after everything that happened, I'm not sure if I can. I mean, she just left. She was the closest friend that I had other than you, and she left without even saying goodbye."

Garcia opened her mouth to speak, but JJ cut her off. "I know, I know. She had a good reason for going dark." JJ frowned at the memory. "But couldn't she at least have called? She just left, and we had no way of knowing how she was or where she went. It's just… hard. This whole situation is impossible. I mean, so much has happened since she left and I've changed, we've all changed in some way from the people that she knew."

Garcia's heart ached for JJ. Out of all of them, she was probably the most affected by this. None of the guys, not even Hotch, knew how close Elle and JJ had been during the time that they had known each other. It was a time when Elle was the only other female besides Garcia, and she had bonded quickly to JJ because of that.

Or so JJ had thought. Because disappearing for almost ten years with no contact was not a quality of someone that she would call a good friend.

From her desk, Kate couldn't help but watch JJ and Garcia speak. She was in awe of their relationship, and how easily Garcia had been able to calm JJ.

And what was up with JJ, anyway? In all the time that she had known her, Kate had never seen JJ lose it like that. This Elle must have meant a lot to her to make JJ react like this.

Kate was snapped out of her thoughts when JJ abruptly stood up and briskly headed towards the bathroom. She watched her go and then glanced up at the clock – 3:35. Only twenty five minutes until this mystery person would be showing up.

To be honest, Kate didn't know what to expect.

OOOOOOO

JJ leaned over the sink, her hands gripping the cool porcelain. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Other than her red eyes, she didn't look any different than any other day. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come.

With one last glance at the mirror, she left the bathroom and headed for the conference room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Here's the second chapter. As of now, I'm planning on updating this fic every weekend. That way, I have time to actually write the chapters.**

 **I know a lot of you have questions about this fic and everyone's reactions, and I will do my best to answer them.**

 **As always, leave me a review and let me know what you thought if you can!**

She was the last to arrive. Morgan, Garcia, Kate, Reid, and Hotch were already present, and they were all sitting with the exception of Hotch, who was pacing.

When he saw JJ come in, he quit pacing and glanced up at the clock. 3:42. She was cutting it close.

JJ took a seat, hyperaware of the team staring at her. They didn't understand why she was acting this way, with the exception of Garcia, and she didn't expect them to.

The sound of a phone vibrating was loud in the otherwise silent room. Hotch pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced down at it.

 _I'm here._

He looked up at the team. "She's here." With that, he turned on his heel and left the room to get her.

When he was gone, the team sat silently, the suspense eating away at them. It was only a couple of minutes before Hotch returned.

They held their breath as she came into view.

Her hair was longer now. It flowed down to the small of her back, fuller that it had ever been. Her face was softer than it used to be, her features not as sharp.

It seemed like the time away had done her well.

Elle looked around the room at the ones who were still the most important people in her life, despite the fact that she hadn't had contact with any of them in years.

Her eyes landed on Garcia first. How could they not? She was just so full of light; it was impossible for your eyes to not be drawn to her. She was glad that Penelope had not lost that light.

Of course, Garcia was the first one to initiate contact. She stepped toward Elle and wrapped her in a hug so tight that she could barely breathe. Elle didn't mind though; she returned the embrace warmly.

"It's been so long! You look great!" Garcia said as she pulled away. Elle chuckled. "Thanks."

Elle looked around the room and she saw Reid next. Wow. He had grown up a lot, and was quite handsome. She smiled inwardly at the sight. He seemed more confident, too.

He looked at her, his gaze scanning her face. She knew he was probably profiling her, trying to gage what her motives were.

She didn't blame him.

After a few seconds, he gained the courage to approach her. "Hi Elle." He said hesitantly. "Reid." She said, and her tone of voice immediately made him realize just how desperate she was for everyone to accept her.

He gave her a small hug and smiled genuinely at her. "It's good to see you." She smiled at him, squeezing his arm in thanks.

Only two remained now, and she knew neither of them would be very welcoming.

Morgan and JJ.

She looked over at them. Morgan was closer, leaning against the conference table while JJ was towards the back near another woman that Elle had never seen before. She must've been the new agent that Hotch mentioned.

Her eyes drifted back to JJ. She looked the same and yet so, so different. She was still beautiful, perhaps even more so if that was even possible.

The look on her face told Elle that getting through to her wouldn't be easy. She probably had a better chance with Morgan.

With that thought in mind, she turned back to him. "Morgan." She said softly. His face softened but he kept his distance.

Elle took a deep breath. "Look, I know you're mad at me." Her eyes flickered back to JJ. "Both of you. But I just want you to know that I am so sorry for the way I handled things, for never getting in touch or saying goodbye. It wasn't intentional and I am so, so sorry." Her voice broke as she tried to explain herself.

Elle never had been great with expressing emotion.

At last, to her surprise, Morgan gave in. He walked forward and engulfed her in his arms. "It's been a long time, Elle. And I'm not saying I forgive you. I just don't want to waste the time that we have with you by staying angry."

She gave a watery laugh and squeezed him back. "I'm not going anywhere, Derek. I'll be here as long as you all want me."

"We never wanted you to leave in the first place." He said as he was letting her go. He grimaced. "Sorry, that was a little harsh."

Elle shook her head. "It's not, really. I deserve much worse than that." She glanced around the room. "What I did was unacceptable, and I would understand if some of you can't forgive me."

In the back of the room, JJ was at a war with herself. Seeing Elle had brought back so many emotions. On one hand, she was so incredibly angry at Elle for everything that she had done. The other half of her was begging to forgive Elle, to hug her and tell her how much she had missed her.

But JJ couldn't forgive her. Her stubbornness, her pride, her heart…they just wouldn't allow it. At least not yet.

JJ had to leave before the anger took over and she did something she would regret. So, she turned on her heel and walked out of the conference room. She heard Elle call her name, but she kept going.

She had to work off this anger, and the only way that she knew how was just a couple of floors down.

With fire raging in her heart, JJ headed to the gym.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Sorry this chapter was a little late. To compensate, this one is a little longer than usual. I'm going on vacation this week so this will act as next week's update as well.**

 **As always, please leave me a review if you can!**

She walked briskly into the locker room and opened her locker. Pulling her gym clothes out, she ripped her shirt off and quickly changed.

A minute later, she was adorned in a sports bra, spandex leggings, and sneakers. She didn't bother with a tank top; it would only get in the way now.

She shoved her work clothes into her locker and didn't even bother closing it before turning and heading into the gym.

JJ stretched, warming up her muscles before stepping on a treadmill. She set it on an incline and at eight speed. She ran, sprinted really, and tried to clear her head.

At the speed she was going, she was making a mile in six minutes. It took her half an hour to run five miles.

Right at the thirty minute mark, she slowed to a stop. It wasn't that she was tired. Running just wasn't enough to keep her mind off of the situation. The exercise wasn't strenuous enough to work of her anger.

She needed something else.

Her eyes caught the pull up bar in the corner. Jumping off of the treadmill, she grabbed a towel and wiped off her face before approaching the bar.

She wiped her hands off before rolling her shoulders and jumping up. She caught the bar in her grasp and hung for a second before starting.

Over and over again, she pulled herself up. As she did so, JJ's mind drifted helplessly. She couldn't stop it, no matter how much she wanted to. The memories just poured through her.

 _It was a rough case._

 _Four teenage girls, gone within a week's time. They had been found with deep cuts across their wrists, severing their radial and ulnar arteries. At first glance the injuries looked…suspicious._

 _Like suicide._

 _But upon further examination, the M.E. quickly realized that the wounds definitely were_ not _self-inflicted. With the angle that the cuts were made from, it would be impossible for the girls to have done it to themselves._

 _The whole case had JJ on edge. With each crime scene photo and family of the victims, JJ held in her emotions and kept her press face on._

 _But inside, she was a mess._

 _Each girl was the splitting image of Rosaline, and the way that they died…well, it brought back some memories that she'd rather forget._

 _JJ did her best to work through it, but no matter how much she tried, those memories lingered in the back of her mind._

 _When the news came that the unsub had abducted his fifth victim, she had the strongest urge to hit something. But instead, she threw everything she had into the case._

 _After that, it didn't take the team long to find the unsub, a man who grew up cutting himself because of how he was raised and the household he was in._

 _It was far from an excuse._

 _When they found him, he was dragging a blade across the fifth victim's wrist. JJ shot him without hesitation, instantly killing him._

 _She holstered her gun immediately and rushed over to the girl._

 _Danielle Moore._

 _JJ wrapped her hand around Danielle's wrist. The unsub had cut deep, just like he had with all of the other victims._

 _She pulled the girl to her chest and held on as tight as she could. "We need a medic!" JJ yelled._

 _Hotch listened to his mic for a minute. "They're five minutes out." JJ shook her head vigorously. "Damnit Hotch, she doesn't have five minutes."_

 _She looked down at the girl in her arms. She was beautiful, and so young. JJ held her wrists as tight as she could, but still the blood poured out, making an increasingly large puddle on the concrete floor._

 _Danielle's eyes were slowly closing. Her mouth twitched as she tried to speak. "Tell my family I love them. Please." Her voice croaked out._

 _JJ's eyes were burning now. Danielle spoke again. "Promise me. Plea-"Her voice cut off as she became too weak to talk._

" _I promise, Danielle." As soon as JJ spoke the words, Danielle's eyes closed and her chest shuddered with her last breath._

 _JJ's eyes widened as she realized what was happening. "No! Danielle! Stay with me, honey. Come on, stay with me." She pleaded and pleaded, but JJ knew that it was of no use._

 _Danielle was gone._

 _JJ sat there, still holding Danielle's wrist that was no longer seeping blood because there was none left. The team stood around her, watching helplessly. There was nothing any of them could do to save the victim._

 _Exactly one minute after Danielle's heart stopped, the paramedics arrived._

 _There was nothing they could do._

 _When the coroners came, they took the body from JJ's arms. She didn't even react as the man gently pried her hands from Danielle's wrist._

 _Now JJ sat alone on the ground. Her eyes drifted downward, where she saw her hands. They were covered with blood. As a matter of fact, her blood was all over JJ's clothing._

 _The sight shocked her out of her haze. Shakily, she stood up. Hotch grasped her elbow and helped pull her to her feet. When he let her go, he leaned over to Elle and whispered in her ear. Elle nodded in response and stepped toward JJ._

" _Come on, let's go get you cleaned up."_

 _Together, they found a bathroom in the building and JJ commenced washing as much as the blood off as she could. There was no soap so the task was long and not entirely successful._

 _As she scrubbed, Elle leaned against the wall and studied JJ. Her normally confident posture was drooped and she leaned into the sink as if it was the only thing keeping her upright._

 _Something wasn't right here._

" _Are you okay, JJ?" Elle asked softly._

 _JJ didn't respond immediately and didn't cease in her scrubbing, and Elle wondered if she had even heard her. She was about to say something else when JJ finally spoke._

" _No."_

 _Elle drew in a sharp breath and her forehead creased. It wasn't like JJ to be unnerved by any of the things they saw in their line of work, let alone admit it if something really was bothering her._

 _This wasn't a good sign._

 _JJ finally shut the sink off, having cleaned her hands as best she could. She turned around slowly and face her, leaning heavily against the sink._

 _Elle's mouth opened, but she didn't know what to say. She was never the type of person that was comfortable with emotional situations, but with JJ, it was easier. Almost like breathing. It was just that in this moment, JJ looked so distraught that the words were literally stolen from Elle's mouth._

 _They stood their facing each other in silence until the cackling of Hotch's came over their mics, saying that it was time to go._

 _And so the two women left the bathroom without a word._

 _00000_

 _It wasn't until much later that Elle got the chance to speak to JJ again. On the plane ride home, she had thought of what she would say and finally worked up the courage to ask JJ if she could come over._

 _JJ started to decline, saying that she was tired and had to get up early the next morning to do some extra paperwork. But Elle looked silenced her with a look, and with a sigh, JJ acquiesced._

 _Twenty five minutes later, Elle and JJ walked into JJ's house. JJ though her coat and purse onto the chair and walked to the kitchen. "You want anything to drink?" she called out._

 _Elle followed suit and set her stuff down too. "Sure. Whatever you're having."_

 _JJ came back into the living room with two glasses and a bottle of scotch. She twisted the cap off and poured some in each, giving herself almost double the amount._

 _JJ picked her glass up and moved across the room to stand in front of the bay window. She took a sip and stared out into the night._

 _Elle watched her; her body seemed relaxed but Elle could tell she was far from that. Her distress was practically screaming at her from across the room._

" _JJ." Elle said softly. JJ didn't respond, but merely lifted her head in acknowledgement. "I know you might not see me as someone you can talk to, but trust me, you can. I want to be the one you can rely on." Elle paused and tried to explain herself. "Look, I'm not someone who makes friends easily. I tend to have an attitude and can seem bitchy to people who don't know me. But you never saw me like that. I guess that's part of the reason why I admire you so much JJ. You don't judge at first sight, you get to know someone and even then, you still accept them for who they are. You're incredible JJ, and you deserve to have someone that you can rely on. I want to be_ your _person. Please let me."_

 _While Elle was talking, JJ continued to stare out the window, sipping her scotch intermittently. What she was saying made so much sense. But JJ didn't know if she could give that much of herself to another person, to open up completely when she never had before._

 _But she didn't think she could keep doing this job if she didn't._

 _And so, in that moment, JJ made a choice._

 _She turned around slowly and drained the rest of her scotch. She cradled the empty glass in her hand and raised her head._

" _I had a sister."_

 _Elle's eyes widened. "Had?" JJ nodded slowly. "Had. She killed herself when I was 11."_

 _Elle stood up and moved towards JJ. "Today, with the victim. You saw your sister, didn't you?"_

 _JJ tried to hold the tears in as she nodded. In that moment, Elle did something she never would've considered before._

 _She hugged her._

 _JJ melted into Elle's embrace, wrapping her arms around her tightly as she began to sob. Elle just held her and stroked her hair comfortingly._

 _This was a start._

After that night, JJ and Elle continued to meet up, especially after hard cases. JJ was there for Elle when she needed her, and Elle was there for JJ. They trusted each other unconditionally.

Until the night Elle left and never came back.

But now she was back, and JJ didn't know what to do, how to compartmentalize everything she was feeling.

She just wanted to forget it all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Back with another chapter. I know it's been a couple of weeks, but I'm getting back into the groove. The end of the school year is approaching with that comes relentless testing, but after that period I'll have much more time to write.**

 **Right now, I'm working on a couple of requests so stay tuned for more! And as always, leave me a review if you can!**

It had been almost two hours since JJ had left the conference room. As much as Elle had wanted to go after her, others thought it was best to give her a while to cool down.

So instead, Elle shoved down her worry for JJ and tried to reconnect with the team. She told them what she had been doing all the years she had been away. Since she was financially stable, Elle had spent much of her time testing out different jobs, experimenting with them to see which ones she liked the best. But she had become restless lately, and the odd jobs here and there just weren't enough anymore.

That's when she decided to make the call.

The team listened in closely, not missing a detail. Every once in a while, someone interjected with a question.

"Elle, we know why you left and we understand. But why didn't you ever make contact again?" Hotch asked, not being rude but sounding curious.

She sighed and hung her head slightly. "After I left the way that I did, I was a mess. When I had finally gotten back to normal, it had been almost a month and I was just too embarrassed to talk to you guys. In our line of work, we're expected to handle the trauma that comes with the job, and I couldn't.

There were so many times that I had my phone in hand with my finger on Hotch's number. But at the same time, so much time had passed, and I guess I was afraid of what had happened since I had been gone. I couldn't bear to know that you all hated me for what I had done." Elle took a deep breath. "Okay, so you know my side of the story. What about you guys? What's happened since I left?"

She didn't fail to notice the collective looks of uncertainty and sadness that crossed everyone's faces simultaneously. This wouldn't be good news.

"You have to understand, Elle, you've been gone a long time, almost ten years. A lot's happened since you've been gone." Morgan told her, settling heavily in the chair next to her.

Elle nodded. "I know, Morgan. This is part of the reason why I called. I had to make sure you all were alright. But I need to know what's happened since I left."

Hotch studied Elle; she appeared completely confident in her choice. After a moment, he acquiesced. "Alright. You all should sit down. This isn't going to be easy."

The remaining team settled around the table and thus the stories began. They started with Morgan, and how he confronted his abuser who was later killed in prison. Elle's eyes drifted over to him. He sat up straight, his shoulders back as he met her eyes confidently.

His reaction told her that he was okay now. She was glad for that. Next, came 2007 and Reid's abduction. Hotch described the circumstances of the situation, and when he mentioned JJ, Elle immediately felt sorry for her. Not for the abduction, but because she hadn't been there to help her through it.

As the details of Reid's torture was unveiled, as well as his struggle with his addiction, Elle couldn't help but notice how the events had made Reid stronger. He seemed so much more confident than he was when she worked with him years ago. It suited him well.

Gideon's departure from the team came up as well. Elle suddenly realized that she hadn't even noticed that Gideon wasn't with them. "So what's he doing now? I can't imagine that'd he be able to stay away from the BAU for long." She asked, curious.

Uneasy glances passed around the team members. Elle scanned their faces. "What?" She asked, initially confused until realization came upon her. "No." She almost pleaded, looking around frantically.

The looks on their faces confirmed what she was thinking. "When? How?" Reid spoke this time. "Last year. The unsub had connections to one of Gideon and Rossi's old cases. He was shot in his cabin."

Elle sat in shocked silence for a moment. "You caught him?" They team collectively nodded, even Kate, who was present during the case.

Elle suddenly recalled something that Reid had mentioned. "Rossi? As in David Rossi?" Hotch nodded. "He joined the team in Gideon's place. He's still with us, he's just on vacation right now."

She nodded, and soon the dreary conversation continued. Garcia told her of how she was shot. She made sure not to leave out the part where JJ killed the unsub.

Elle looked worriedly over at Garica. "You're okay, though?" Penelope smiled at her, almost sadly. "I am. It was a long time ago.'

Elle had noticed when Garcia had said that JJ killed the unsub. "Was that JJ's first kill?" "Yes." Morgan said before a smirk formed on his face. "She's a hell of a shot." Elle smiled at his remark, but inside she was beating up herself for not being there for JJ when she took her first shot.

The talking ensued, and eventually JJ's pregnancy was mentioned. "She has a child?" The mention of Henry lightened the mood as Garcia skipped over to JJ's desk and grabbed a frame off of it. "She has two, as well as a very, _very_ hot husband."

Elle took the frame in her hands and studied it. It was a family picture of JJ and her two kids. One was substantially older than the other. A very attractive man was hugging JJ's shoulders in the picture. They looked happy together and her heart lifted; JJ had found someone to build a life with, someone who understood her work and how much it meant to her.

Staring at that picture in her hands, Elle's heart began to ache. She's missed so much of JJ's life, of the whole team's lives.

It was in moments like these that Elle wished she had never left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Next chapter is finally up! Not sure when the next one will be, but I'll do my best to stay on top of things. As always, leave me a review if you can!**

Elle spent almost two hours with the team, reliving past traumas and all that had happened in the years that she had missed while she was gone.

So many injuries, so many deaths, so much time that had been spent senselessly away from the people that she loved. It made her feel like a coward, that she left. The team had been through so much, and they withstood it all, together. They didn't leave for years and never come back. They stayed standing and held onto each other for support.

Why couldn't she have done that?

Well, she supposed there wasn't much use in analyzing it now. It was in the past, done and over with. She couldn't change what she did, she could only be here now.

When Hotch had gotten to the point in time last year when JJ had been kidnapped, Elle nearly stopped breathing. JJ had been abducted, in the hands of a sadistic unsub who was known most commonly for the people that he had tortured in the Middle East.

Elle's breaths grew uneven as she heard more and more of what JJ had experienced. It seemed like Hotch was telling her the whole story, but a quick glance at Reid told her that there was more to it. Every time she looked over at him, he would swallow and look away.

There was definitely something else.

She couldn't ask him now, though. Not when everyone else was here, not when everyone else didn't know what she was sure Reid did.

So she stayed quiet, until Hotch had finished speaking. The things he described… JJ had been through so much.

It was after the telling of JJ's abduction that Hotch stood up and advised that they all take a break. The last couple of hours had been stressful and everyone needed at least an hour to wind down.

It was also painfully obvious that JJ hadn't returned.

They all knew that she was most likely still in the gym. JJ could go hours without stopping. Morgan knew that best from past experience.

He wanted to go down there, to check on her. It wasn't healthy for her to be alone for so long when she was like this. So, he decided to head down to the gym.

Morgan walked down the hall, deep in thought about the day's events.

"Morgan!" He heard someone yell from behind him. He turned around to see Elle jogging toward him. "What's up?" He asked her, curious.

She came to a stop in front of him, breathing heavily and feeling extremely nervous. "I was wondering if…if I could go see JJ instead."

Morgan's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "You sure that's a good idea?"

Elle let out a short laugh. "Honestly, no. But I really need to talk to her. I have to at least try to rekindle our relationship. I can't bear to have her hate me."

Morgan shook his head. "Elle, she doesn't hate you. In fact, that's far from it. She cares for you, incredibly deeply. It takes a lot for JJ to make attachments, but once she does, she doesn't let them go easily. Once you're in her heart, you're in there. JJ doesn't hate you, Elle. She's just hurt."

Elle nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. "Do you think she will ever forgive me?"

Morgan rested a hand on her arm. "She's JJ, and you're Elle. She'll always forgive you." He squeezed her shoulder and headed back to the bullpen. "Go ahead, head on down. I'm sure you remember where the gym is."

"Damn right I do." She grinned and turned away, jogging down the hall.

She didn't want to waste any more time.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

She didn't stop running until she was right outside the doors to the gym. She wanted to see JJ so much, she yearned to do so. But something was stopping her from opening those doors.

Fear.

She was scared, plain and simple. She didn't know what she would find behind those doors, how JJ would react. It was a _big_ unknown. Elle shook her head and cleared her thoughts.

She wouldn't let fear stop her this time.

And so she let go of her fear and hesitation and pushed against the door, it opening easily underneath the pressure of her fingertips. She walked in, taking in the newly updated machinery.

Looking around, she didn't see anyone in the room. She wandered around, running her fingers over the cool metal of the exercise machines. When she reached the far end of the room, she noticed a door in the corner. The sign on it read _Sparring Room._

JJ had to be in there.

Elle didn't even hesitate this time and pushed the door open slow and easy. It was a large, open room, equipped with padding on the floors and walls. There were agents sparring with their trainers on several mats around the room, but Elle only noticed one.

JJ was on the mat to the far right, across from her trainer. She had her hands wrapped for sparring, her arms held in front of her as a defense. She moved her weight back and forth between her feet, circling her trainer.

The man across from her was muscular, built similarly to Morgan. He didn't speak as he prepared to fight the women across from him. Instead, he copied JJ's movements, circling her and shifting his weight back and forth. This was supposed to be a training session, but it appeared that neither of them needed the practice. The way they moved, it seemed that they both just needed to let off some steam.

Elle leaned against the doorframe, far enough away that JJ still hadn't spotted her yet. She crossed her arms across her chest and watched JJ. She was adorned in exercise spandex and just a sports bra. Her toned stomach glistened with sweat.

Right then, the other agent threw the first punch. Elle's heart jumped as his fist headed toward JJ. However, it seemed that she had nothing to fear as JJ lithely moved out of the path of his hand and threw her own punch. Unlike his, her hand connected with his cheek with what seemed like a fair amount of force. He staggered a bit before regaining his balance.

They danced their dance for a while, sending fists back and forth. Every once in a while, the man would throw in a quick, agile move that would swipe a lesser person off of their feet. But JJ never once lost her footing, and even used a couple of his moves against him.

After a while it looked as if he was getting tired. His moves were slower, less focused. However, JJ stayed sharp, her muscles tense. When he tried to bring her down again, she twisted out of his grasp while using his momentum against him. He stumbled forward, and JJ wrapped her legs around his which caused him to fall.

As soon as he hit the ground, he scrambled to get up but JJ was on him so quick, he never had a chance. She had him pinned to the mat, one of his arms behind his back.

Surprisingly, the man laughed from underneath JJ. She hopped off of him and reached a hand down. He accepted it and she pulled him to his feet. He had a grin on his face as he looked down at her. "Nicely done, Jareau. One of these days maybe I'll pin you."

JJ gave him a small smile. "Not a chance in hell, Dan."

They exchanged a few words before saying their goodbyes and parting ways. JJ grabbed a towel off of a nearby rack and patted her face before throwing it over her shoulder. She stopped in her tracks as she spotted Elle leaning against doorframe.

"We need to talk." Elle told her.

JJ sighed. "Yeah, we do."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay. I know it has been forever. And I'm not even going to begin to make up an adequate enough excuse. All I can say is that I'm sorry for the wait.**

 **As you'll soon see, I've decided to wrap up this fic once and for all. It ended up longer than I anticipated, and I felt that it was time to end it. I hope the ending doesn't seem too rushed to you guys.**

 **Anyway, as for now, I'm going to focus more on my other incomplete fics and also some requests that I've hopelessly been working on for the past months.**

 **As always, please leave me a review if you can and let me know what you think!**

Without another word, JJ made her way to the locker room. Elle followed silently, trying to prepare herself for the conversation that was to come.

JJ opened the door, stopping for a moment to hold it open for Elle. Behind her, Elle smiled softly. Even when JJ was angry, she still had manners.

The locker room was dark when they entered, and JJ didn't bother to turn the lights on. Elle could barely see her in the dim lighting, so she moved to the wall and turned the light switch on herself. She at least wanted to be able to see JJ when speaking to her.

Leaning against the wall, Elle watched as JJ moved to her locker. She made no move to open it though, and Elle's curiosity sparked.

Abruptly, JJ turned around. She leaned back and laid her head on the cool metal of the lockers, closing her eyes. She made a feeble attempt at centering herself in that moment; she knew that Elle deserved more than her anger.

When JJ reopened her eyes, she found Elle staring at her. "What?" JJ said in a low voice, not harshly.

Across from her, Elle smiled. "You've changed so much since I last saw you."

JJ let about a sharp laugh. "Yeah, well it has been ten years. What did you expect?" she snapped.

Elle immediately turned her gaze away at her tone. JJ immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry, Elle." She sighed. "It's just…hard."

Elle once again met JJ's eyes and took a step forward. "I know, JJ, and I don't blame you. If our positions were reversed, I probably would feel the same way. But you're too important to me, and I have to at least try to make things right."

JJ nodded softly, all traces of anger gone now. The intense workout she just put herself through had done its job, and now she was left more in control of her emotions.

She took her towel off her shoulder and wiped her face again before speaking. "God, Elle. It's been so long…you have no idea how much I've missed you all these years. I know why you left us, and I really do understand. But it was the fact that you never talked to any of us again. You know me, I would've forgiven you in a heartbeat, Elle. All it would've taken was one call, one text, _something_."

Elle thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest as she listened to the sorrow and hurt in JJ's voice. "And for that, I am so incredibly sorry. There were so many moments when I had my phone in my hand, my finger hovering over the call button. And it was always your number, JJ. Every time that I wanted to call you guys, I always chose your number first. But for some reason, I just couldn't. At first, I was so ashamed of what I had done that I just couldn't face you. You were always so strong, stronger than me. I didn't want you to think of me differently.

And then as more and more time passed, it became less about being ashamed and more about being afraid. I had let so much time slip through my fingers, and I was so scared to make contact because it was my fault. I was the one who shot Lee, and I was the one who ran because of it. And then there was you, JJ."

"Me?" JJ inquired softly, her brows furrowing.

"You. I remember the one promise that I made you. I said that I would always be there for you, come hell or high water. That I would never leave you like so many had before. I broke that promise, JJ. I broke it the day I shot Lee and ran. And as more time passed, all I could think of was that I broke that promise, and your trust. After that realization, I could never bear to call you, or any one of the team. I was afraid. I was a coward."

All while Elle was speaking, she was inching closer and closer to JJ, who had such a sad look on her face that almost made her want to cry. When she finished her speech, she tentatively took a final step that put her right in front of JJ.

JJ's mouth opened and then closed again without a sound. She couldn't even voice her thoughts at the moment. While she was in the state that she was, Elle took advantage of her silence one last time.

"Please, give me another chance." Elle begged. She was never one to grovel, but under the circumstances, nothing seemed more appropriate. "I am begging you, JJ. I know I don't deserve it, but I can't go any longer without you in my life. I _need_ you. You don't have to forgive me. In fact, _I_ wouldn't forgive me. But I'm asking for one more chance to show you how much you mean to me. Please, JJ."

Elle's heartfelt words tugged at JJ's heartstrings. As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't hold a grudge forever. She let out a long sigh. "Okay, Elle. One more chance. That's it." She acquiesced.

Elle's eyes lit up in a way that JJ had never seen. Before she could even move, Elle's arms were around her in the tightest embrace that she had ever gotten from the woman. JJ immediately tensed at the contact, but after a few moments, she relaxed and slowly wrapped her arms around the other woman.

Elle knew it wouldn't be easy for JJ to trust her again. But at least she had another chance to prove to her that this time, she was there for good.

Because there was no way in hell Elle would ever leave again.


End file.
